I wrote this and submitted to my GM at a RV Resort because we were working on a renew Wedding vows theme. It was rejected, as a matter of fact the whole theme was rejected in favor of a Photo Op of anyone that wanted sort of wedding pictures.
She said it was “sort of funny” in a couple of places. I leave it up to you to decide if it was a little funny.
Dearly Beloved and Unbeloved
We are gathered here within the site of Lost Dutchman’s Mine on Superstition Mountain to re-new our commitments to all of our long suffering spouses.
The ceremony is short just like our memories! Which is a blessing, or none of us would still be married to the dumb-ass person standing beside us!
Matrimony is a solemn state, to which none of us entered into in our right minds.
If anyone present can show more than one reason why any of these people should still be joined, speak now and we will all forget what you said in 5 minutes or less.
Do you solemnly swear to continue suffering through all their peccadillos for the rest or your life or until divorce is a new addition to Medicare part Z with no deductible?
Do you promise to stick together through thin and thick, sickness, which is likely and health which is un likely! Through Joy, which lasted through the honeymoon and sorrow which lasts forever!
After giving and receiving many insults throughout the years, we do pronounce you joined at the hip in your RV until it is paid off or you forget where you parked it.